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my mood changes so fast. one min ago i was still feeling angry angry angry and the nxt, the anger subsides. angry coz i just watched another lousy movie. it was so lousy that its 5 times worst than cloverfield and 2 times worse than the darjinglee limited. mark my words. wondering what losuy movie i watched? its the sweeney todd. god god god, its so terrible. first thing first, i think im rather an impartial person. reason as follows. main lead - johnny depp. the hero in pirates of the carribean. love him coz of the movie. naturally thought that hey hey, sweeney todd will be a terrific show. ya right, terrible in reality. more singing was done than talking in that movie; more slashing of the characters throats than fighting; more disgusting human pies were made than the dinning. just the thought of kanna cheated make my blood boil again. we were actually deciding that we got a good movie chosen since that local new movie was given a 0.5 rating. i thought what worst can this sweeney todd be? and even that surely it will surpass CJ 7. well, that teaches me another lesson - you can never be 100% sure of anything.

i will give anything to re-watch cloverfield again - 10 times of headachy scenes - than to watch sweeney todd.

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Reading other people's blogs on breaking up always make me tear. silly but true. sometimes, i get too hyped up over how others view me that more often that not, my entries are not exactly v depressing, dun you notice that? i mean, im paranoid over comments such as "how would you know because ................" ok, i think im rambling on. chanced upon this entry and signifies my thoughts.. that portion of my thoughts that i never exactly pen it down publicly before. but its ok, i see my thoughts in this entry..

I stumbled upon the blog of an acquaintance just now. I do not know her personally, and vice versa. I was just casually browsing through her blog when I learnt that she and her boyf had broken up. Her situation simply mirrors that of mine months ago. I teared infront of my laptop while reading her entries, because I could feel her pain. I can totally understand what she is going through right now. The need to speak to something / someone intangible (blog and God. because talking to tangibles aka ppl who wouldnt understand, would just prove to be futile) to try and relieve some of the hurt, and yet it just seems like the hurt would never, ever go away. The many rhetorical questions that she asked, which she knows, deep down, there can never be answers.

I feel you, girl, I do. You might never get to read this, or even if you do stumble upon my blog one fine day, you still cannot be sure that the girl I'm referring to is you. But I just want to give you the assurance that things will slowly but surely get better. If I could, I would definitely give you one big giant hug and a shoulder to cry on, and also share some tips on how to get your life back on track, haha.I know the exasperation you feel, when you wake up every morning and still feel that dull ache in your heart.And you start getting afraid, frightened, scared out of your wits, by how painstakingly-slowly you're taking to get over this ordeal. Then, you start freaking yourself out by thinking you will never, ever get over it. You think you're okay one moment, and the very next, you crumble down and the whole world is reduced to debris all around you. You busy yourself to no end every single day, but when night falls and it is time for you to retire to bed, the nightmare relives itself all over again. You're physically and mentally drained, but no sleep would suffice for you. You lose all appetite for food, you lose all interest for things that used to matter to you.

It is also through this phase you will realise that while you were once caught up in a world that only belonged to you and your significant other, there were others who were all along beside you, silently loving and supporting you, people like your family, close friends and in some cases, secret admirers (lol). You were so blinded by the love and everything that having a boyfriend entails, that in the process, you shut out every other source of comfort and support. But don't you know, these are the very people who would always be there to help you get up after a very bad fall, and more often than not, the very person you lavished so much time, effort and emotions on would be the very same person to cause your fall? Do you see the irony?

Nevertheless, all these emotions are just part of the inevitable process of healing and moving on. It could take months, years, the duration would differ for different individuals, but just draw hope and strength from the fact that you WILL eventually get out of this hellhole you are in right at this moment. It is never worth it if you come out of this phase without taking with you several bitter lessons learnt, and that is BGR isn't the only thing that matters. Look around you, take in the vastness of your surroundings and opportunities hiding in every nook and cranny. The future can still be bright if you believe it will be. God, family, friends, studies, school, work, the sun, the sand, the sea, etc. And the list goes on. See how your life stretches ahead in front of you, with or without a boyfriend?
:)

a little bit of narcissism won't hurt, and vanity isn't a sin.




涵妍。hanyan ....